Wishing all KH3 members and visitors a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town
It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!
Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake, OH
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Samui Makes A Complete Hash Of It!!
The Koh Samui Hash House Harriers laid on a bumper weekend for the many runners who turned up from points near and far for the Run 150 hash-athon. Record numbers were recorded and strangely, the total number of participants for the three runs actually added up to 150!
The weekend kicked off with Samui's first ever night time hash with the trail being laid by Red Mullet and Mr. Whippy from the Royal Southside (men only) hash, Hong Kong. Starting near to the monkey theatre between Chaweng and Bhoput, the trail was laid using a mixture of flower splodges on the ground, supplemented by arrows and other indicators chalked on palm trees and similar convenient uprights such as gate and lamp posts. Commencing at 6.30 pm the run started in twilight but soon moved into an inky darkness that caused plenty of confusion and sojourns off the trail for the forty three participants, most of whom had never done a night run before. The first part of the course was mainly through jungle and coconut plantation with a few good hill climbs and descents thrown in for good measure, but for the most part the run utilised well travelled paths and was on the whole reasonably easy to navigate. After reaching and then crossing the main Chaweng ring road the trail took on an urban feel, wending its way through many small local housing compounds where the sight of so many crazy farangs jogging around with flash lights, blowing whistles, honking horns and yelling “on on” brought an even bigger smile to the faces of the local Thais.
The in trail was a long run along Chaweng Beach to the finish at Tradewinds Cottages where the circle was treated to a special performance by the ladies of the Wanchai (Hong Kong) Hash House Harriettes who performed a semi striptease to unveil specially printed t shirts whose cartoon theme alluded to the chauvinistic attitude of their other halves from the Southside. A mouth watering BBQ laid on courtesy of Cap'n Squall at Tradewinds then followed this festivity.
Saturday afternoon saw the largest gathering ever for a hash run on Samui, with seventy four participants. Again, the sight of such a huge number of crazy farangs, jogging en masse through the streets of Lamai town brought forth big smiles and a mixture of stares of disbelief from the Thai locals. The hares for this special occasion were For Skin and Blind Eddie from Samui and their reputation for laying “testing” runs was yet again reinforced as after a nice easy jog around the outskirts of town the trail then proceeded to climb a long and steep ascent which had many a hasher gasping for breath by the summit. But the view back across Lamai beach and the surrounding hills and valleys made the pause at the top a refresher for the eyes as well as the lungs.
The good, long run was followed by a huge circle where the two main sponsors were duly called in for down-downs and to be thanked for their generosity in supplying lots of free cases of the amber nectar used to lubricate the throats of many a thirsty hasher. So in stepped Lawrence Fay
a.k.a. “Backdoor Boogie” from Sabai Properties and Gary Pearmain from Coconut Land and House well actually Gary never made it since he somehow managed to break his arm on Thursday night, getting into the hash festivities a little too soon maybe?
This “thank you very big” was followed by Floppy Dick introducing a game involving hats made from cups that were then secured to the top of the head of a representative from each of the visiting hashes of Southside, Wanchai and Songkhla. On production of a box of eggs the plot then became apparent and the three in the middle were soon found to really have egg on their faces! Hash Music, Helix Too, then closed out the circle with a very vocal and very visual, stirring rendition of the holy hash hymn “swing low sweet chariot”.
This merriment was followed by a bumper barbecue at the Lamai hash bar, The Red Fox, where mine host Alan a.k.a. Blue Lugs, laid on a full spit roasted pig together with other entrees which included his famous chilli the recipe for which was obtained from a dying Mexican, Alan was called to try and help when he used to work for the Carlisle Ambulance Service. Allegedly the Mexican was a no hoper and he knew he just had to pass on his mamma's old time recipe before departing this mortal coil or so Blue Lugs tells us!
Sunday morning saw a torrential down pour, but still thirty three hashers turned up for the Bloody Mary Hangover Hash. Keeping to his word, the Grand Master, Camel C*nt, laid a pleasant, short run and for most this was enough. The trail commenced beside the sea at Hua Thanon and after a gentle jog along the sand, wound its way uphill past the wat and into light jungle and coconut plantations before ending in a beautiful tree lined valley behind the Lamai Hua Thanon main road. Blue Lugs mixed his special New Orleans style bloody marys that certainly had a kick to them and revitalised many a jaded hasher, preparing them for a superb closing-out continental brunch courtesy of Mr. And Mrs. Floppy Dick at their Kokomiko restaurant, near the Lamai Post Office.
The many visitors did come from all over. Large contingents from Hong Kong, Songkhla and Hat Yai, some of who were on their way back from the Interhash, held the previous weekend in Goa, India. Captain Eric graced us with his presence from the Bangkok Hash, and we had two Malaysian visitors from the Kajang Hash (7-11 & Sideway 4"), close to Kuala Lumpur, who attended thanks to the Phuket Gazette! They were riding on a ferry from Phuket to Phi Phi the previous week where they came across a copy of the Gazette featuring the GM's Samui Sam column and a write up on the forthcoming Run 150 festivities.
So all in all a great hash weekend was enjoyed by all and the many visiting hashers all left with great tales and a recommendation to their friends to visit this tropical island hash paradise.
Running for Fun…and from the Beijing Police
- Source from Josh, Beijing -
How did a group of foreigners out for a late night jog end up in Beijing police custody on Tuesday? This is the odd story of the Hash House Harriers. Olympic marathoners be warned.
A Beijing groups of Hash House Harriers, known amongst themselves as “The Harsh,” decided that there would be no better wasy to celebrate April 22nd’s full moon than to have a nice evening 8K run around the Worker’s Stadium area and through some local Hutongs. One of the runners on the ill-fated mission can take over:
By 8:15, 11 Hashers gathered for the circle, and Trixxxie set off with 5kg of flour to lay the course. 10 minutes later, the hashers were [on]. Following the first few marks, it was pointed out that there seemed to be an unnecessarily large amount of flour being used and sure enough, shortly after the first open check, the marks were fewer and Willy Wanker caught Trixxxie as he was out of flour. As the Hashers waited on a foot bridge for more flour to be bought, it was noticed they had lost one Hasher along the way, and with a phone call discovered that the Hasher was already back in the Rickshaw having some drinks…
At one point during the circle, one of the female hashers went inside the Rickshaw to purchase food. While she was there, she was informed that the police had been there earlier looking for a group of runners. Back outside she went, only to find no less than 10 policemen, complete with 4 cars all standing around. When asked if she was part of the running group who had been going around the area, she realized that the shorts, t-shirts and runners she was wearing would make ‘no’, not really an option.
A group of policemen waiting for you at the end of an evening stroll is never a recipe for fun. But then again laying mysterious white poweder on the streets, at night, in a foreign country, is not ideal either. Our runner continues the story:
Over to the circle the police came and wanted to know about the suspicious substance that they had been throwing around the streets of Beijing. The Hashers were told that the police were tipped off about a group of foreigners running around the area, throwing and mysterious white substance onto the ground. The police had apparently discovered the trail and had been following the hashers and their trail all the way back to the Rickshaw.
I would give anything to have seen the police officers huddled around trying to figure out how to track down the culprits before one said, “I wonder where this trail of powder goes.”
The Hashers tried to explain that it was only flour and had just purchased the bag at Jinkelong for 13 kuai. They even provided the empty bag as proof (aka exhibit A). The police were not convinced.
Getting cold, and having to await the arrival of the police El Capitaine, the Hashers decided to go into the Rickshaw and have some food and Beer…
Off to the Police station it was decided they go. They piled into the police cars and as they drove away they heard the words “I don’t think there will be any Hash events at the Rickshaw again anytime soon”, uttered by its manager.
At the police station, the 7 remaining Hashers who failed to earlier escape, were asked for ids and passport numbers…With a few clicks of a button, the Hashers’ Chinese paper work was printed out to be analyzed. The clock on the wall read “106 days till the Olympics” and the hashers were feeling the One World, One Dream sentiment…
It was decided by the Police that interviews must now take place, at which point, Long Legs called his wife in Holland to wish her a Happy Birthday and to let her know of his criminal antics in China.
Hey honey! I might end up the evening Chinese labor camp. But have a drink for me!
After almost an hour of attempting and re-attempting to describe the intricacies of the Beijing Hash, Boxer Hash and Full Moon Hash, in Chinese to the Police, the question most often repeated was “why flour”. The female interviewees were informed that they could consider using another substance next time, such as laundry detergent. The male hashers were told that by spreading 11kg of flour on the streets they had wasted food, to which [one] replied that they had rightfully purchased the flour and had therefore the right to waste it if they liked. The officer and him agreed to disagree on this matter. The male hashers were also informed that by spreading flour on the streets they were contributing to the pollution in the city. They were told that should the wind pick up, the flour would blow everywhere and Beijing would be dirty. There you have it, the Hash is actually responsible for most of the pollution in the city…
An hour later, interviews over, the hashers were back in the lobby. When asked if they could now go home they were told they would have to wait for the “results”. Results of what you might ask? Turns out that team Crime Scene China had collected samples of the mysterious white powder and had taken it to be tested.
And at the wee hours of the morning, English nuance become the focal point:
During the second round of interviews, two of the Teacher hashers were overheard giving English lessons on the difference between ‘flour’ and ‘flower’. No, we did not throw rose petals all down the streets of San lit tun. One hasher even drew a diagram on the statement sheet in order to ensure that the difference was clear…
The hashers were informed that CSI China would like to go and take pictures of the crime scene and would like a Hasher to go with them and show them the trail that they followed. A resounding, echoing no was chanted in unison by the Hashers, saying it was too long, too late and too cold.
Not everyone had to go around the town, after a bit of a battle. However, some did. But don’t worry, there was documentation
Meanwhile, [one Hasher] was sending minute-to-minute text message updates to one of the hashers back at the station, detailing the going ons of team CSI.
Text number 1:
“They brought a broom and our sweeping behind us. Not a joke. Sweeping”
Text # 2:
We’ve just turned right off san lit tun nan lu. I snapped at the cop when he asked – is THIS flour also the flour that you spread? No you ninny, it’s someone else’s flour!”
Apparently team CSI was not entirely convinced that there was not another group going around the city also spreading flour…
Text #6 and # 7
“They are trying to reconstruct the route from their own memory and it’s not working.”
Note to police: the best way to remember the path is by laying out a nice thick, white trail of…never mind. Anyway, eventually things got “sorted” and the police decided that labor camps were too much punishment, but maybe a little reeducation might do the trick:
Before the hashers could officially leave however, they were given a stern lecture on never using flour again. As they were walking out the door, one member of the hash invited the police to join their next hash. He didn’t look impressed.
So at 3:57 am, no less that 5 hours later, the Hashers were finally free to go. With one last look they noticed the countdown to the Olympics clock had changed to 105 days.
How did a group of foreigners out for a late night jog end up in Beijing police custody on Tuesday? This is the odd story of the Hash House Harriers. Olympic marathoners be warned.
A Beijing groups of Hash House Harriers, known amongst themselves as “The Harsh,” decided that there would be no better wasy to celebrate April 22nd’s full moon than to have a nice evening 8K run around the Worker’s Stadium area and through some local Hutongs. One of the runners on the ill-fated mission can take over:
By 8:15, 11 Hashers gathered for the circle, and Trixxxie set off with 5kg of flour to lay the course. 10 minutes later, the hashers were [on]. Following the first few marks, it was pointed out that there seemed to be an unnecessarily large amount of flour being used and sure enough, shortly after the first open check, the marks were fewer and Willy Wanker caught Trixxxie as he was out of flour. As the Hashers waited on a foot bridge for more flour to be bought, it was noticed they had lost one Hasher along the way, and with a phone call discovered that the Hasher was already back in the Rickshaw having some drinks…
At one point during the circle, one of the female hashers went inside the Rickshaw to purchase food. While she was there, she was informed that the police had been there earlier looking for a group of runners. Back outside she went, only to find no less than 10 policemen, complete with 4 cars all standing around. When asked if she was part of the running group who had been going around the area, she realized that the shorts, t-shirts and runners she was wearing would make ‘no’, not really an option.
A group of policemen waiting for you at the end of an evening stroll is never a recipe for fun. But then again laying mysterious white poweder on the streets, at night, in a foreign country, is not ideal either. Our runner continues the story:
Over to the circle the police came and wanted to know about the suspicious substance that they had been throwing around the streets of Beijing. The Hashers were told that the police were tipped off about a group of foreigners running around the area, throwing and mysterious white substance onto the ground. The police had apparently discovered the trail and had been following the hashers and their trail all the way back to the Rickshaw.
I would give anything to have seen the police officers huddled around trying to figure out how to track down the culprits before one said, “I wonder where this trail of powder goes.”
The Hashers tried to explain that it was only flour and had just purchased the bag at Jinkelong for 13 kuai. They even provided the empty bag as proof (aka exhibit A). The police were not convinced.
Getting cold, and having to await the arrival of the police El Capitaine, the Hashers decided to go into the Rickshaw and have some food and Beer…
Off to the Police station it was decided they go. They piled into the police cars and as they drove away they heard the words “I don’t think there will be any Hash events at the Rickshaw again anytime soon”, uttered by its manager.
At the police station, the 7 remaining Hashers who failed to earlier escape, were asked for ids and passport numbers…With a few clicks of a button, the Hashers’ Chinese paper work was printed out to be analyzed. The clock on the wall read “106 days till the Olympics” and the hashers were feeling the One World, One Dream sentiment…
It was decided by the Police that interviews must now take place, at which point, Long Legs called his wife in Holland to wish her a Happy Birthday and to let her know of his criminal antics in China.
Hey honey! I might end up the evening Chinese labor camp. But have a drink for me!
After almost an hour of attempting and re-attempting to describe the intricacies of the Beijing Hash, Boxer Hash and Full Moon Hash, in Chinese to the Police, the question most often repeated was “why flour”. The female interviewees were informed that they could consider using another substance next time, such as laundry detergent. The male hashers were told that by spreading 11kg of flour on the streets they had wasted food, to which [one] replied that they had rightfully purchased the flour and had therefore the right to waste it if they liked. The officer and him agreed to disagree on this matter. The male hashers were also informed that by spreading flour on the streets they were contributing to the pollution in the city. They were told that should the wind pick up, the flour would blow everywhere and Beijing would be dirty. There you have it, the Hash is actually responsible for most of the pollution in the city…
An hour later, interviews over, the hashers were back in the lobby. When asked if they could now go home they were told they would have to wait for the “results”. Results of what you might ask? Turns out that team Crime Scene China had collected samples of the mysterious white powder and had taken it to be tested.
And at the wee hours of the morning, English nuance become the focal point:
During the second round of interviews, two of the Teacher hashers were overheard giving English lessons on the difference between ‘flour’ and ‘flower’. No, we did not throw rose petals all down the streets of San lit tun. One hasher even drew a diagram on the statement sheet in order to ensure that the difference was clear…
The hashers were informed that CSI China would like to go and take pictures of the crime scene and would like a Hasher to go with them and show them the trail that they followed. A resounding, echoing no was chanted in unison by the Hashers, saying it was too long, too late and too cold.
Not everyone had to go around the town, after a bit of a battle. However, some did. But don’t worry, there was documentation
Meanwhile, [one Hasher] was sending minute-to-minute text message updates to one of the hashers back at the station, detailing the going ons of team CSI.
Text number 1:
“They brought a broom and our sweeping behind us. Not a joke. Sweeping”
Text # 2:
We’ve just turned right off san lit tun nan lu. I snapped at the cop when he asked – is THIS flour also the flour that you spread? No you ninny, it’s someone else’s flour!”
Apparently team CSI was not entirely convinced that there was not another group going around the city also spreading flour…
Text #6 and # 7
“They are trying to reconstruct the route from their own memory and it’s not working.”
Note to police: the best way to remember the path is by laying out a nice thick, white trail of…never mind. Anyway, eventually things got “sorted” and the police decided that labor camps were too much punishment, but maybe a little reeducation might do the trick:
Before the hashers could officially leave however, they were given a stern lecture on never using flour again. As they were walking out the door, one member of the hash invited the police to join their next hash. He didn’t look impressed.
So at 3:57 am, no less that 5 hours later, the Hashers were finally free to go. With one last look they noticed the countdown to the Olympics clock had changed to 105 days.
All time Favourite Hash Song
(Done as a tribute to hasher,usually after a down down song,but sometimes as the down down song.)
"Down Down Song"
Here's to ... ... he's true blue,
He's a hasher through and through
He's a pisspot so they say,
He tried to get to heaven,But he went the other way!
Drink it down down down down,down, down, down, down, down,
Why are we waiting, why are we waiting.........WHY WHY WHY.
"Why Was He (She) Born So Beautiful?"
Why was he (she) born so beautiful,
Why was he (she) born at all.
He's (she's) no fucking use to anyone,He's (she's) no fucking use at all.
He (she) might be a joy to his (her) mother,
But he's (she's) a pain in the asshole to me!
Drinking down, down, down, down,Down, down, down, down,Down, down, down, down,Down, down, down, down.
"RASA SAYANG"
RASA SAYANG HEY RASA SAYANG SAYANG HEY ...
HEY LIHAT NONAN JAUH ...RASA SAYANG SAYANG HEY ...
Orang Melayu Tanah Padi,
Orang India Minum Todi.
Orang Cina Makan Babi.
Orang Putih Chi Lat Puk..........
"Down Down Song"
Here's to ... ... he's true blue,
He's a hasher through and through
He's a pisspot so they say,
He tried to get to heaven,But he went the other way!
Drink it down down down down,down, down, down, down, down,
Why are we waiting, why are we waiting.........WHY WHY WHY.
"Why Was He (She) Born So Beautiful?"
Why was he (she) born so beautiful,
Why was he (she) born at all.
He's (she's) no fucking use to anyone,He's (she's) no fucking use at all.
He (she) might be a joy to his (her) mother,
But he's (she's) a pain in the asshole to me!
Drinking down, down, down, down,Down, down, down, down,Down, down, down, down,Down, down, down, down.
"RASA SAYANG"
RASA SAYANG HEY RASA SAYANG SAYANG HEY ...
HEY LIHAT NONAN JAUH ...RASA SAYANG SAYANG HEY ...
Orang Melayu Tanah Padi,
Orang India Minum Todi.
Orang Cina Makan Babi.
Orang Putih Chi Lat Puk..........
Smoking Vs Fart
Re the smoking after the hash: I hear you, brother!
I spend half my time during the on-afters backing away from or circling upwind from the puffers. It’s usually a futile battle. A few of them know I can’t stand the smoke so they hold their cigarettes up behind them as if that will prevent the smoke from drifting. At least those few give a half-hearted try to shield their non-smoking friends from sharing. Most smokers merrily puff away oblivious to those around them. Then they flick the toxic remnant on the ground to smolder
I see smoking as the equivalent of a ten-minute-long fart. And when one farter fires up a fart, the farter next to him gets the urge to fire up his own ten-minute fart. And so on and so on. It becomes a chain reaction. And the fart odor fixes itself into the hair and clothing of everyone nearby. You carry the noxious reminder home with you and make a bee-line for the shower, slam-dunking your contaminated clothing into the laundry hamper along the way. That’s how I see smoking.
Don’t get me wrong. A loud fart in the circle can be great comedy. I can put up with that. Or an exploding cigar. That’s a smoking style I can appreciate.
All you can do is hope the smoker will give up the habit or move away. But for every smoker who quits smoking or moves away, another smoker invariably arrives to take his/her place.
Minnesota last year outlawed smoking in bars and restaurants. That’s some consolation. I’m usually the first one to suggest heading inside to some guaranteed smoke-free air. During our cold winters the circles generally move along quickly and we head for a warm bar/restaurant. During our warm summers, however, the puffers like to linger next to the ice chest long after the circle ends.
Article from Pooper Scooper
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